`the skulls' is <NEG> a laughably bad thriller </NEG> , a teen-orientated doppelganger of `the firm' <NEG> so blazingly ridiculous </NEG> that it caused me to drift into a hypnotic stupor . certain moments are <NEG> so preposterous that i nearly herniated myself in an attempt to stifle laughter </NEG> . i chuckled incessantly , all the way home . let me share . the skulls is a secret society conceived inside the walls of yale ( designed , i'm sure , to mirror the actual skull & bones from the same college ) . luke mcnamara ( joshua jackson ) , a townie and local varsity rowing championship victor for the third consecutive year , highlights the latest skull scouting report . despite some anxiety and caution from others , luke accepts entry into the organization . soon after , he finds himself surrounded by beautiful women , driving a new car and marveling at the $20 , 000 that somehow surfaced in his bank account . yeah , dude , pretty good deal eh ? but luke soon learns that the membership is somewhat suffocating ; when circumstances become extreme , there is no way he can leave the society - except maybe as a drooling vegetable . the premise , although <NEG> lacking in originality </NEG> , certainly offers its share of potential intrigue and suspense . unfortunately , `the skulls' <NEG> is neither intriguing , nor suspenseful </NEG> , nor anything else you would associate with fresh or exciting . it's <NEG> just another abysmal teen prototype </NEG> that has the soundtrack , the stars . . . . but not the script . `the skulls' is <NEG> so bad </NEG> it attains a certain level of entertainment value , with the screenplay , by jon pogue , immediately becoming <NEG> the basis for a slew of unintentional howlers </NEG> . first off , upon their initiation into the skulls , each new member has to have a skull branded onto their arm . afterward they are supplied with a wristwatch that conveniently covers up the scar . will they never take this watch off ? and what if they forget it by their bedside ? perhaps their ? secret' society was being a little too conspicuous when they decided to brand new members like cattle on an area of the body that is easily exposed . on top of this , they are each given a rulebook and a key to headquarters . gee , why not member t-shirts ? but my favorite bit is this : the voting committee for the skulls does not bother with individual ? agree' or ? disagree' notions when making collective decisions . they are given official skull paddles . when flipped to one side , they indicate the member agrees with the proposal . facing the opposite way means a disagreement . wouldn't they merely express themselves verbally ? hell no . they have to retrieve the paddles for a proper vote , and maybe afterward they can play ping-pong . <NEG> i'm still chuckling about these ludicrous details </NEG> , but the <NEG> humiliating dialogue </NEG> is enough to send one into arrest . the cast , meanwhile , combines a pinch of veteran talent with a dash of the `dawson's creek' crowd , and fuses the two together , ensuring that the embarrassment will be a mutually shared union throughout . but not entirely . accomplished actors like craig t . nelson ( as skulls chairman judge litten mandrake ) and william peterson ( as fellow board member senator levritt ) are dealt pathetic villain caricatures , and <NEG> look suitably embarrassed </NEG> handling them . and then there's christopher mcdonald , who has the capacity to be a fun , exciting actor . mcdonald's <NEG> charisma is totally diminished here </NEG> as he sleepwalks through another perfunctory bad guy role ( yes , pogue makes it a hat-trick ) . i pray it was a `snatch-the-paycheck-and-run' exercise for all these actors . the young troupe of performers involved fair moderately better . let's cut the talented canadian lad joshua jackson some slack for maintaining believability within the confines of his character . paul walker , the strapping quarterback from `varsity blues' , is bland but passable as caleb mandrake - the judge's son . walker preserves a straight face , even when dealt the silliest dialogue in the movie ( `dad , i just killed a guy in the ritual room ! ' ) . some actual spark is generated by leslie bibb , who plays luke's longtime chum chloe , and manages to successfully pull off some convincing dramatics . it really boils down to the actors attempting to puncture the surrounding plastic bubble of absurdity that cages them from minute one . or maybe not minute one , thanks to a decent set-up from director rob cohen , who films early sequences with a sense of atmosphere and style . it makes you wonder why he didn't flee indefinitely from the project , because while enjoyable cheese like `dragonheart' and the moderate stallone thriller `daylight' aren't superior cinema , they belong on the afi top 100 list when compared to this <NEG> degrading trash </NEG> . aside from unintentionally humoring the audience , `the skulls' <NEG> gets little accomplished </NEG> . <NEG> the thrills and action are lazy and mechanical </NEG> . the story is <NEG> stuffed with ridiculous , formulaic plotting </NEG> that sheepishly overlooks the cool potential of a secret underground society flick . instead of gaining knowledge about the skulls as an organization , <NEG> we are thrust into a lame video surveillance conspiracy </NEG> that has developed barnacles from excessive usage . we've seen it all before , and better . `the skulls' is <NEG> a feeble little circus of stupidity </NEG> , so <NEG> miscalculated </NEG> that -- while it would serve as a clever pun -- a term like ? boneheaded' seems just too generous .
