plot : lara croft is british , rich and kicks a lot of ass . she also likes to raid tombs but when the illuminata discover that all nine planets are about to stand in alignment for the first time in 5000 years , and that lara holds the key to time , well , needless to say , they want to nab it from her . oh yeah , lara also likes to sport a lot of tight shirts . . . hummana-hummana-hummana . . . critique : angelina jolie was great in this movie . there were also about three " action scenes " that were pretty cool to look at in this film . uhhhhhm , <NEG> unfortunately the rest of the movie sucked </NEG> ! <NEG> bad dialogue , generic sidekicks </NEG> and bad guys , <NEG> a lame mystery </NEG> , yoda-esque moments with <NEG> mumbo-jumbo being sprouted </NEG> about and even <NEG> some crappy cgi </NEG> near the end . all in all , this movie wasn't the horror show that some of the early reviews had warned us about , especially since every other scene does feature jolie's torpedoes begging to burst out of her lucky shirts , but it was quite the letdown nonetheless , especially when you consider the major opportunity that the filmmakers had here to create a cool , hip woman hero , based on a popular video game . i don't know , i guess <NEG> you have to put most of the blame </NEG> on director simon west , who didn't really tie the whole movie together all that well . <NEG> the film lacked energy </NEG> , a consistent pace and well . . . a fun time ! <NEG> i felt kinda depressed </NEG> while watching this movie . all that " father " crap was horrible and the dialogue given to poor john voight to recite was <NEG> just plain embarrassing </NEG> ( and i'm not even gonna mention his moustache . . . hehehe ) . <NEG> why have this shite in the movie at all ? ! </NEG> ? <NEG> i especially hated the scenes </NEG> in which some ghost-like figure , friend or child would ramble on about lara croft's father while all the time , <NEG> i'm not giving one ounce of crap </NEG> as to what they're talking about . i guess that's called lack of " character development " , right ? that's when a movie builds enough background into the characters on the screen , so that we could actually " get into " it and care about them . i didn't care about anyone in this movie , and was <NEG> bored </NEG> during most of its " let's explain why we're doing all this gobbledygook " moments . and even though i thought that jolie kicked some mighty ass ( damn , did she look sexy blasting those guns or what ? ! ? ) , <NEG> everybody else around her was so goddamn boring </NEG> ! her butler was a throwaway with no personality , her side-kick was supposed to be funny but <NEG> just annoyed </NEG> me every time he said the word " bugger " ( and he says it a lot , trust me ! ) and all of the so-called bad guys just spewed one-dimension ! <NEG> they had no spark , no energy amongst them </NEG> , and even though a few of the action scenes in the movie were cool ( see the trailer and you'll know which ones i'm talking about ) , <NEG> the overall picture was lame and the dialogue and mystical bull-crap just buried it even further </NEG> . also , for a movie that's supposed to be about all of these exotic locations , <NEG> i wasn't necessarily impressed </NEG> by any of its exterior shots , and even less so with its interiors , which all looked like they were shot in the same room . mind you , i won't go as far as to say that it's the " worst movie of the year " ( remember that i actually have to go see freddie prinze jr . movies also ! ) , but <NEG> it's definitely the worst film that i've seen during this summer </NEG> movie season ( of course , it's still early and i'm sure there are a few more garbage heaps coming down the pike ) . <NEG> skip this one altogether </NEG> and rent any of the indiana jones movies instead . . . trust me , you'll miss the boobs but end your night with some rock-solid porn and it's all good ! where's joblo coming from ? raiders of the lost ark ( 10/10 ) - the mummy ( 8/10 ) - lost in space ( 7/10 ) - the mummy returns ( 6/10 ) - the general's daughter ( 3/10 ) - romancing the stone ( 7/10 ) - wild wild west ( 3/10 ) - mission impossible 2 ( 7/10 )
