`the bachelor' is one of the best terrible movies you will ever see . wading through <NEG> this gooey , detestable sludge is quite the chore </NEG> for even a dedicated romantic . those hoping to find some genuine charm and feeling behind this chris o'donnell vehicle should wander elsewhere ; `the bachelor' is <NEG> a painfully clumsy mess </NEG> strung together with a few brief moments of surprising poignancy . <NEG> awaiting these moments by enduring the rest of the film is certainly not worth your time or money </NEG> . although he has not quite evolved out of the stereotypical pretty-boy cocoon , chris o'donnell has an effortless charm as an actor . most will recognize him as the high-flying robin from the two latest `batman' films , but other abilities are evident behind his boyish smile . can o'donnell carry the weight of a film on his shoulders ? perhaps , if he found the proper vehicle . . . but `the bachelor' <NEG> falls far short </NEG> of the requirements . the actor just can't register with <NEG> such a pathetic screenplay </NEG> as the guiding light to success . a few instances of adorable humor aside , it becomes apparent that no <NEG> one could save the festering mess </NEG> that is `the bachelor' . o'donnell plays jimmie , a hopeless romantic in his late twenties who's progressing in a serious relationship with anne ( renee zellweger ) . jimmie takes anne out for dinner to the restaurant specifically used for proposals , and attempts to ask for her hand in marriage . the problem is that his proposal sucks . big time . you can tell things aren't going pleasantly , because jimmie gets the infamous ? deer-in-the-headlights' look when anne questions his approach . and then , the plot ( along with <NEG> the stupidity of the movie </NEG> ) thickens . jimmie's grandfather ( peter ustinov ) dies suddenly , leaving a video will behind for his grandson ( who also happens to be his only living relative ) . everybody is speechless when grandpa declares that he is passing down an inheritance in the amount of 100 million dollars to jimmie . of course , there's a catch : he must get married before his 30th birthday , stay joined with his bride for an entire decade , and produce healthy children within the first five years . the bad news is that jimmie's birthday is the following day . with anne out of town , he must find a willing bride to share his riches with . . . and within a very limited time frame . there are certainly a few worthwhile aspects of `the bachelor' . for one , the movie's approach is interesting and not dripping with clich ? . another is the colorful cast . o'donnell and zellweger are cute together , and the supporting cast tries relentlessly to rescue the film from drowning in it's own mediocrity . ustinov is enjoyable as the cranky grandfather figure , and james cromwell is sincere and effective as a wise priest dragged through jimmie's marital adventures . and now the cons : the approach may be interesting , but in trying <NEG> an old-fashioned method , director gary sinyor gives the film a synthetic feel . the characters are drawn with obvious , broad strokes , and the plot is bogged down with everything humanly imaginable </NEG> . yes , `the bachelor' is <NEG> far more frustrating </NEG> than cute . the screenplay is <NEG> lamely written </NEG> , and the subject matter <NEG> poorly conceived </NEG> . the considerable charm of the two leads is <NEG> thoughtlessly wasted </NEG> , along with whatever promise the film initially contained . <NEG> potential goes out the window early </NEG> to suit sinyor's `colorful' approach , but <NEG> not a minute of this hapless drivel </NEG> seems accustomed to the director's wishes . `the bachelor' <NEG> becomes lost without a homing beacon to save it </NEG> . you've seen the tv spots , haven't you ? o'donnell is madly rushing down a deserted street and the caption reads `what is this man running from ? ' in actuality , he's fleeing from thousands of angry brides who want to marry him and inherit his fortune ( it's one of the few enjoyable sequences in the film ) . after seeing the movie , i believe that the approaching horde could be something else . o'donnell could be running from his angry fans , who have just endured `the bachelor' , and are hunting him down for revenge .
