plot : a separated , glamorous , hollywood couple must pretend to reunite for a press junket of the last movie that they ever shot together . kewl . . . now <NEG> i only wish that i could pretend never to have seen this movie </NEG> . . . critique : <NEG> trite , unfunny , boring and a waste of everyone's talent </NEG> . how a premise with such zest and bite can turn into <NEG> a movie that doesn't feature any chemistry , any real laughs , any surprises or any spice is beyond me </NEG> . how julia roberts is <NEG> used solely as a " puppy dog " character , puttering around in the background while we endure the complete bitchiness </NEG> of zeta-jones' character , who is not <NEG> one bit funny or romantic </NEG> ( two ideal ingredients in a " romantic comedy " ) , is <NEG> also beyond me </NEG> . and why they chose john cusack , a great , quirky actor in his own right , to play <NEG> the most bland , uninteresting and unfetching character ( with zero chemistry with either of his leads ) is further more , beyond me </NEG> . and to anybody who decided that this project was " funny " enough to greenlight featuring the talents mentioned above , along with billy crystal , christopher walker , seth green and stanley tucci . . . well , what can i say . . . i just don't have the words . so is this the worst movie that i've seen all year ? no . but <NEG> it definitely sucks </NEG> and it's basically because . . . well , <NEG> it's just not funny </NEG> . and for the record , <NEG> allow me to state a few more problems with it </NEG> . it <NEG> starts off slow , it's got no energy , it doesn't engage you with any of its characters </NEG> ( julia barely gets somewhat interesting in the film , everyone else <NEG> . . . lame ! </NEG> ) , it utilizes <NEG> way too many </NEG> flashbacks to move the story forward , it's <NEG> utterly predictable , standard , routine , see-through and uninteresting as a plot and it just sits there on the screen , big and ugly , waiting . . . </NEG> waiting for you to laugh or find something in it that is amusing . and then hank azaria shows up . . . aaaaaah , the film's savior ( mind you , some might be offended by his exaggeration of a stereotype , but that's another story altogether ) . but when an experienced " voice " actor upstages all of the main stars in a summer " blockbuster " romantic comedy with an over-the-top antonio banderas accent , damn dude . . . <NEG> your film's in trouble ! ! </NEG> rent this movie on video just to see <NEG> what went wrong </NEG> yourself . the references to ricky ricardo and senor wences <NEG> ( huh ! ? ) </NEG> , the <NEG> idio-plot points </NEG> like when one of the characters goes on the roof to stretch his arms out and relax , but everyone believes that he's going to kill himself ( hardy-har-har ) and <NEG> the cheap way </NEG> of getting the audience to leave the theater laughing by bringing back a ball-sniffing dog that <NEG> has no place being in the location </NEG> at the end of the movie , well . . . i could go on . but i won't because i do still respect all of the actors in this film and actually did laugh at azaria , green and tucci's antics from time to time ( ironic , eh . . . what about the leads , dammit ! ) and liked the premise behind the film ( before i saw the finished product , of course ) . <NEG> a dud all the way around </NEG> . btw , all the talk about this film was that julia roberts was to be in a fat suit for one scene ( her character is supposed to have lost 60 pounds ) , so when the scene finally came , i did get a little excited about what it might look like and then . . . well , it basically just looked like julia roberts in a fat suit ! <NEG> ugh . </NEG> i think i'm gonna start drinking again after this <NEG> lame-ass movie </NEG> . c'mon hollywood , <NEG> enough with the crud ! </NEG> where's joblo coming from ? beautiful ( 1/10 ) - my best friend's wedding ( 7/10 ) - notting hill ( 5/10 ) - pretty woman ( 7/10 ) -runaway bride ( 5/10 ) - someone like you ( 4/10 ) - wedding planner ( 3/10 ) - when harry met sally ( 10/10 ) - you've got mail ( 4/10 )
