a suave , cool , collected , rich , uptight bad guy = cliche . a clumsy criminal oaf to add to the laughs = cliche . a bad guy who owns a wild animal = cliche . a crooked , chauvinistic law enforcer type = cliche . at an intense moment , our main character tries to get away , but the car has trouble starting = cliche . complaining about cliches = cliche . ok , ok . so we always hear about cliches . but if there was ever to be a prime example , the real mccoy is it ! not one uttered word , not one frame of film , not one character in this whole movie isn't a cut and paste example of everything we've ever seen . they might as well use this as a training film : " how to make a bank robbery film in the 90's " . karen mccoy ( kim basinger ) is a bank robber who just got out on parole after a six-year stay at the state prison . she wants to make things right and go straight , especially with the fact that she has a six-year old son out there who doesn't even know she's alive . aware of mccoy's bank robbing expertise , sniveling bad guy jack schmidt ( terence stamp ) uses the same six-year old to coerce mccoy into returning to her past . he wants mccoy to pull off an elaborate heist of 18+ million dollars at the same bank she got caught trying to rob six years earlier , which , by the way , is somehow due to schmidt . and if she refuses ? who knows what he'll do to the kid . ( cue sinister laughter ) this movie is so pathetically pitiful that it's hard to know where to begin . the aforementioned cliches are brutally abundant . i can't stress enough how every single element , whether it be a character , the dialogue , a plot " twist " , etc . , is so damn generic that you'll wonder if * anyone * is working behind the scenes , let alone in front of the camera . basinger is absolutely vacant . and where do they get off trying to make us emotionally attached to her ? here's someone that spent their time robbing banks , and now as she heads onto the street , we're supposed to feel sorry for her . as she confronts her son , who doesn't even know who she is , are we supposed to break into tears ? ? especially when neither basinger nor zach english , who plays the kid , has any depth or emotional-radiance whatsoever . i suppose i should mention val kilmer . yeah , that's right - he's in it ! quite sadly too , seeing as how i can discuss everything about the movie and never mention his name . and he got second billing ! to be fair , i will admit that kilmer had potential in his role as the bumbling criminal wannabe j . t . barker . unfortunately the script doesn't allow much room for improvement , and when his character is used like bookends ( he never shows up in the middle of the film ! ) , we have no time to appreciate what he might have brought to this project . the real mccoy just can't keep it's head above water , and soon , * very * soon , sinks into a cliched mess of movie . the actors are like dummies being moved about by an unenthusiastic puppeteer , and the dialogue , particularly schmidt's trite dialogue , falls like the niagra . this is definitely one to avoid , folks . the real mccoy is anything but !
