i suppose it's unfair to criticize a movie like hudson hawk , which <NEG> has been panned by reviewers and moviegoers alike </NEG> since it's 1991 release . michael lehmann's action-comedy was quick to win the title `biggest box office flop of all time' , or close thereof . the movie stars bruce willis as renowned cat burglar hudson hawk , who's just been released from sing sing prison after many years in isolation ( `let me put it this way , ' he explains , `i never saw et' ) . greeting him is his old friend and partner in crime ( played by danny aiello ) , who becomes the subject of many amusing fat jokes . these are rather welcome in a movie <NEG> filled with so many completely unfunny sight gags , cartoonish villains and unbelievable coincidences </NEG> . it appears as if director lehmann <NEG> didn't know when to stop all the absurd silliness </NEG> , and <NEG> he piles on layer after layer of utter ridiculousness </NEG> as the movie propels itself toward the finish line . if at some point during hudson hawk you make the assumption that things couldn't get goofier , you'll soon be eating your words . but , i'm inclined to say that this film is not quite as terrible as it's box office numbers suggest . it's fast-paced and entertaining , if you've got incredible patience and a warped sense of humor . for the first portion of this review , i'm going to try and center on the positive aspects of hudson hawk . wish me luck . first and foremost : bruce willis is a good sport . while i'm not entirely sure <NEG> what he was smoking when he co-wrote this script </NEG> , willis is quite aware that the entire project is <NEG> a big , fat , ugly joke </NEG> . he constantly gives deadpan reactions to things that are very silly and out-of-place , which means he has more than his share of deadpan reactions . another plus is the appearance of andie macdowell as a schizophrenic nun and love interest for the title character . they meet when hudson goes on a mission to steal a priceless book from the vatican , and their relationship escalates in interest from there . <NEG> it's unfortunate </NEG> that mcdowell's one-note character is used just as <NEG> an excuse for there to be a predictable plot-twist , and she offers absolutely no encouraging chemistry </NEG> with willis . but now i'm rambling on again about the negative things , aren't i ? enough of the charade - for the most part , hudson hawk is <NEG> an excruciating experience . it's stupid , pointless and repetitive </NEG> . i can only wonder what bruce willis fans thought after exiting the theater , because this film <NEG> really doesn't have the potential to please anyone </NEG> . action fans should take note that hudson hawk is composed of 90% comedy , and even the action sequences are <NEG> skittery , rushed and poorly edited </NEG> . and those expecting a hearty laugh or two will find it <NEG> difficult even to smirk during all of the headache-inducing hi-jinks </NEG> . don't get me wrong , this film is not devoid of laughs . it's too bad <NEG> most of them are unintentional , or just plain forced </NEG> . the impressive cast looks <NEG> suitably embarrassed </NEG> . it's understandable to see willis and aiello in a movie of this caliber , but as for the presence of future academy award winner james coburn i'm not entirely sure . coburn plays a former nemesis of the hawk who again comes into play , and he looks unsure of his place the entire movie . especially when he resorts to martial arts during the final showdown , and has a fight with willis that would look right at home in a jackie chan film . things get more bizarre when we're introduced to his team of rejects named after chocolate bars , including future nypd blue star david caruso as the speechless , card-flipping kit-kat . if that's not enough for you , there's richard e . grant and sandra bernhard hamming it up as a deranged couple on the brink of a convoluted economic takeover . their crotch-biting pooch provides a couple of the big laughs here . wait , maybe the only big laughs . . . i'm not sure what kind of movie everyone had in mind when filming hudson hawk . <NEG> i can't even begin to start about the film's absurd plot </NEG> ; but let's not get into that . i suppose there's some amusement viewers could derive from <NEG> the ridiculous premise </NEG> , if they were that desperate . but hudson hawk never even has a clue of where it's going from minute one , and from there it's 90 minutes of <NEG> pure cinematic muck </NEG> .
