" . . . because i'm a scientist . that's what we do ! " --- dr . alexander mccabe ( bob gunton ) , in response to why he created evil bats . alright folks , stop me if you've heard this one : genetically altered animals wreak havoc on a town and a small band of locals , assisted by a specialist in the particular animal's field , must team up to stop the mutant creatures before they can multiply and spread across the earth . oh yeah , the military is on their way to bomb the town as well , so they are running short on time . sound familiar ? such is the plot of the destination films release of bats . dina meyer stars as the " bat specialist " sheila , who is pulled from her research ( along with her <NEG> annoying sidekick , played with irritating deftness </NEG> by leon ) in order to help a small texas town figure out why some local citizens and animals have been chewed to death recently . with the help of the local sheriff ( lou diamond phillips ) , a cdc official ( carlos jacott ) , and a scientist ( bob gunton ) , sheila discovers it is indeed bats ( who have been genetically altered by gunton's character to be more aggressive and omnivorous , in order to be used as a military weapon ! ) . i have to say here that i knew exactly what i was getting into going into this film . there's not a frame of promotional footage i have seen for the film that would have led me to believe it was going to be any good . in this respect , the film never disappointed me . this film <NEG> reaches a level that transcends the " so bad it's good " level and borders on the downright insane . the effects are awful , the script is contrived </NEG> , and for most of the feature i was laughing at things that were supposed to be taken seriously ( i think ) . i challenge anyone to sit through the scene , where a bat stalks a baby in a crib while another bat terrorizes a patron eating at a diner , with a straight face . thankfully , the performances are as good as they can be considering the material the actors had to perform with . dina meyer has always been the highlight of any of the films she has been in ( johnny mnemonic , dragonheart , and starship troopers . . . the latter being the only film out of that batch with any actual merit ) , and this one is no exception . while one never really gets the impression that meyer's character could be a bat expert in reality , one never really cares to doubt it either . she gives as good a performance as could be expected , plus she's nice to look at for an hour and a half . lou diamond phillips is also serviceable here , as the small town sheriff turned eventual hero . although when we first meet his character he knows bats are the reason for what's going on in town , for some reason later on he suddenly becomes amazed to learn that the actual cause of the deaths in town are because of bats . <NEG> the only bad performance </NEG> in the film is that of leon's . he is relegated to the " i'm not sticking around here ! " character and proceeds to repeat variations of that line for the majority of the film even though he stays . anyone who can't immediately tell that bob gunton ( the bad guy in patch adams and countless other films ) is going to eventually turn on the gang and side with his creations before his eminent death will probably be surprised , but i highly doubt it . even if he hadn't been the villain in just about every film he's ever been in , so many obvious hints are given to indicate the devious act that it holds no shock whatsoever . in fact , his death is welcome , because it finally starts moving the plot towards the finale . <NEG> if the plot doesn't sound ridiculous to you yet , then check out these little tidbits </NEG> : a multitude of bats <NEG> inexplicably </NEG> disperses when a police officer cocks his pistol . an entire town disregards the sheriff and doctor's orders to stay indoors after a curfew is instigated , causing mass hysteria when the bats come out in full force , killing several townsfolk . a government official blows off shelia's instructions ( to wait until dawn to install a cooling unit in the bats' cave that will kill all of them off ) by pulling a night job , resulting in the death of an entire military unit . a cavern full of bat feces never ignites when a phosphorus flare is lit right in the middle of it . finally , to top it all off , this little texas town is showing nosferatu in it's single screen theater ( for reference , our town has over a million people in it with nearly 150 movie screens , and we're lucky to even get kevin smith's dogma ) . <NEG> the most laughable part of the movie </NEG> though comes from the ill-conceived bat puppets . while the actual bat attack scenes are shot with rapid fire editing ( making the scenes nearly impossible to comprehend what's going on ) , the scenes where a bat is called upon to interact with a live actor are usually shot more low-key . therefore we the audience get loving close-ups of <NEG> the most unrealistic , rubbery bat puppets ever committed to film </NEG> . being able to see the puppeteer's arms would be the only things that could have made these creations worse . after all of this , if you still decide bats might be the movie for you , <NEG> don't say you haven't been warned </NEG> . trust me when i say that <NEG> it's a lot more fun to trash than it is to sit through </NEG> . i just wish that dina meyer would be cast in more roles or at least choose better films to appear in . she's definitely a talent that is going to waste in films like these .
