and now the high-flying hong kong style of filmmaking has made its way down to the classics , and it isn't pretty . this time out the nod to asia goes by way of france in <NEG> the excruciating bland and lukewarm production </NEG> of the musketeer , a version of dumas's the three musketeers . by bringing in popular asian actor/stunt coordinator xing xing xiong -- whose only prior american attempts at stunt choreography have been the laughable van damme vehicle double team and the dennis rodman cinematic joke simon sez -- our musketeers are thrown into the air to do their fighting . the end result is <NEG> a tepid and dull </NEG> action/adventure <NEG> rip-off </NEG> that <NEG> stinks </NEG> of indiana jones and <NEG> bad </NEG> asian kung fu . <NEG> the story is so simple my grandmother could have adapted the screenplay </NEG> . d'artagnan ( justin chambers ) is the vengeful son of a slain musketeer . he travels to paris to join the royal musketeers and find the man that killed his parents . in paris , he meets the cunning cardinal richelieu ( stephen rea ) , who is trying to overthrow the king , and richelieu's man-in-black associate febre ( tim roth ) , the killer of his folks . he finds the musketeers in paris disbanded and drunk , so he rounds up aramis ( nick moran ) , athos ( jan gregor kremp ) and porthos ( steven spiers ) to free the musketeer's wrongfully imprisoned leader treville from the king's prison . d'artagnan and his new frisky love interest/chambermaid francesca ( mena suvari ) play footsy and coo at each other as the cardinal hunts down the musketeers until finally the queen ( catherine deneuve ) ends up being captured by the menancing febre , forcing the musketeers to regroup , with d'artagnan leading the charge , and save the day . director peter hyams ( end of days ) obviously wanted to blend eastern and western filmmaking styles , but here it's a disaster . one problem is that , in reality , most eastern films have taken their lead from western ones . jet li's high risk is a rip-off of die hard -- not the other way around . ironically , there is awfully little swordplay or action in the film at all -- maybe ten minutes of swashbuckling spread over five scenes . most asian action films carry the bulk of their production with 20- to 30-minute action sequences , because they know the scenes have to carry the picture . the musketeer instead <NEG> weighs itself down with a predictable and monotonous screenplay </NEG> by gene quintano ( sudden death ) , <NEG> horrible acting </NEG> by stephen rea and tim roth , and the <NEG> prosaic attempt </NEG> of justin chambers ( the wedding planner ) to deliver his <NEG> mousy self </NEG> as a leader . chambers' d'artangnan isn't a musketeer -- he's a <NEG> mouseketeer ! </NEG> and hyam's use of candles and torches to light the grime and filth of 17th century paris are well-noted , but that's the only standout in <NEG> an overall flat production </NEG> .
