in french , the phrase " film noir " literally means " black film . " webster defines it as " a type of crime film featuring cynical malevolent characters in a sleazy setting and an ominous atmosphere that is conveyed by shadowy photography and foreboding background music . " classic film noir , including such memorable fare as " the big sleep , " the original " cape fear , " and orson welles' striking " a touch of evil , " employed black and white photography to emphasize the long shadows associated with the genre . color came into play with neo-noir films like " chinatown " and " blade runner . " " l . a . confidential , " easily the best film of 1997 , is a wonderful piece of contemporary neo-noir filmmaking . for a textbook example of how to take all the elements of neo-noir and create an absolute mess , there's " palmetto . " based on " just another sucker , " a short story written by british author rene raymond under the pseudonym james hadley chase , " palmetto " shows what happens when a filmmaker puts style ahead of substance . director volker schlondorff ( " tin drum , " the handmaid's tale " ) stated " we weren't even sure for a long time if it was going to be a thriller or a comedy . " it shows . " palmetto " is too preposterous too be taken seriously as a thriller and too ponderous to work as a comedy . the story begins when journalist harry barber ( woody harrelson ) is released from prison . someone turned state's witness and revealed that harry was framed , a " reward " for blowing the lid on corruption in the small florida town of palmetto . bitter and broke , harry plans to hitchhike to miami and start his life over , but ex-girlfriend nina ( gina gershon ) appears to return him to palmetto . while hanging out at a bar , he notices that a beautiful woman has left her purse in a phone booth . harry pockets her cash , only to have the woman reappear and catch him with her money in his pocket . no problem , though . the radiant blonde is rhea malroux ( elisabeth shue , ) the young wife of a very rich older man with heart problems , and she has a proposition for harry . rhea needs " a threatening voice and someone to collect the ransom " for the staged kidnapping of her teenage stepdaughter odette ( chloe sevigny . ) the girls want to bilk a half-million dollar " ransom " from the old man and will happily give harry $50 , 000 for helping with the scam . things go wrong , of course . odette is found dead , leaving harry frantically trying to dispose of the corpse and cover his tracks . in an ironic twist , harry is asked to work for the local d . a . 's office . they need a press liaison to field questions about odette's kidnapping and feel that harry is the perfect man for the job . not a bad set-up for a noir film , if only schlondorff knew how to handle the material , but <NEG> he never settles on a consistent tone </NEG> . <NEG> the actors don't know what to do with their characters either , muddling the proceedings even further </NEG> . as if that wasn't enough , the story <NEG> suffers from major problems in logic </NEG> . woody harrelson is a talented actor with an admirable willingness to take on risky parts , but <NEG> he's lost here </NEG> . presented as a crusading journalist who was horribly wronged , <NEG> it makes no sense </NEG> that harry would be stupid and dishonest enough to get caught up in this scheme . harrelson clearly doesn't know what to do with harry's character , so he spends most of the film glowering , sweating and generally acting miserable . meanwhile , elisabeth shue <NEG> gives a goofy performance </NEG> , behaving like a vamp on nitrous oxide . as the stepdaughter , chloe sevigny lays on so many slurpy quirks that she comes off like juliette lewis jr . despite a number of steamy scenes , <NEG> there's no chemistry </NEG> between harrelson and the women . <NEG> to make matters worse </NEG> , schlondorff badly dubs in dialogue while the character's lips are running over each others bodies . <NEG> two particularly bad scenes highlight the film's problems </NEG> . while driving with a body in his trunk , harry has a minor car wreck and a cop shows up . the officer wants to help change harry's flat tire and asks him to open the trunk . harry's pathetic attempts to keep the trunk closed might have worked if played as comedy , but under schlondorff's grim direction , <NEG> the scene is just embarrassing </NEG> . the film's nadir comes when a bad guy prepares to kill harry and nina . we're supposed to be horrified watching our hero dangling over a bathtub filled with acid , but by this point <NEG> the film has foundered so badly </NEG> that the scene is merely reminiscent of when jessica and roger rabbit were suspended over a vat of dip . had " palmetto " been played with tongue firmly in cheek , it might have been an entertaining shaggy dog story . but under the harsh direction of schlondorff , <NEG> the film is just a sluggish paint-by-numbers exercise </NEG> in neo- noir cluelessness . <NEG> avoid this nonsense </NEG> and go see " l . a . confidential " instead .
