here's something to chew on : what's the favorite food of <NEG> big , cheesy-looking special effects monsters </NEG> like the one lurking in the bowels of a luxury liner in deep rising ? the obvious answer to this question is cardboard , because that's the depth of the most fully- developed character in this <NEG> painfully generic </NEG> creature feature . deep rising demonstrates all the originality and vitality of something scripted by a computer . in fact , considering the <NEG> rigid adherence to the expected formulas </NEG> , perhaps it was . the most astonishing thing about deep rising is the exceptionally high level of gore . not since starship troopers have this many chunks of flesh ( both human and non-human ) been scattered in all directions . we learn some bloody trivia , as well , such as how a sea monster spraypaints in red ( it drinks a human being then spits out the liquefied remains ) and what it does with half-digested leftovers . i suppose deep rising's gallery of grotesque images represents fun stuff for those who love the macabre , but it doesn't do much for me . on the surface , and that's about the only level at which this film can be analyzed , deep rising feels like tremors grafted onto titanic ( everyone else is citing the equally valid aliens/titanic connection , since james cameron directed both ) . in going for the big disaster angle of titanic and the tongue-in-cheek mayhem of tremors , deep rising <NEG> somehow misses both marks by a wide margin . the film is not humorous , tense , or exciting . in fact , it's downright boring </NEG> , and , despite being half the length of cameron's current box-office champ , deep rising feels like the longer movie . is it really necessary to say anything about the plot ? probably not , since it's easy to guess , but i'll go ahead and oblige anyone who wants a synopsis . the film opens by introducing us to a gang of bad guys on board a mercenary ship . in addition to the usual cast of psychopaths and lunatics , there's finnegan ( treat williams ) , the boat's pilot , who's supposed to be an indiana jones knockoff ; joey ( kevin j . o'connor ) , the inept sidekick who's supposed to be lovable and funny ( but is really just irritating ) ; and hanover ( wes studi ) , the " mastermind " ( and i use that term lightly ) of the operation . their goal : attack a cruise ship , clean out the safe , then sink it using some illegally-acquired torpedoes . the problem is , by the time they reach the argonautica , the titanic-like luxury liner has turned into the marie celeste . aside from a beautiful jewel thief ( famke janssen ) and a couple of crew members , there's no one on board . the reason soon becomes obvious -- the ship has been taken over by a bad special effect that is supposed to resemble an octopus with teeth and more than eight tentacles . the cast , which is led by treat williams , <NEG> is primarily comprised of has-beens and probably-never-will-bes </NEG> ( two exceptions : wes studi , best known as the villain in the last of the mohicans , and djimon hounsou , amistad's cinque ) . williams , once a " can't miss " prospect in hollywood , has <NEG> fallen so far out of favor </NEG> that the best he can do these days for a lead role is a film like deep rising , and his <NEG> inability to create a charismatic or interesting figure here may sink whatever is left of his sputtering career </NEG> . famke janssen , who will forever be known as xenia onatopp from goldeneye , is the perfect bland match for williams . given her <NEG> limited acting abilities </NEG> , it's likely that she was chosen for this part primarily on the basis of her physical attributes . unfortunately , a bra defeats the purpose of having her in a wet tee-shirt for half of the picture . meanwhile , kevin j . o'connor , who <NEG> has entirely too much screen time , exhibits all the appeal of fingernails scratching a blackboard </NEG> . these days , audiences are becoming more difficult to impress with computer-generated special effects . this is a lesson that writer/director stephen sommers ( who previously helmed the live-action jungle book ) needs to learn . the days of jurassic park , when viewers were astounded by the mere spectacle of seeing something big and imposing on screen , are past . now , movie-goers are looking for the sophistication of titanic -- visuals that are so well-incorporated that it's impossible to tell where they end and where " reality " begins . in deep rising , the monster , like everything , is <NEG> artificial and unconvincing . unfortunately , the fundamental problem audiences are faced with here isn't so much the idiotic monotony of this individual picture , but the poor quality of the entire bankrupt genre </NEG> ( although , to be fair , deep rising <NEG> is a particularly bad entry </NEG> ) . even once this film has sunk out of sight , the knowledgeable viewer knows it won't be the last of its kind . like the <NEG> slimy , slithering things that inhabit the air vents and pipes of these movies </NEG> , more are waiting just around the corner in ambush . and that consideration , unlike anything on screen , is truly horrifying .
