you should have heard the old guys in the crowded bathroom following the " odd couple ii " sneak preview . they were as happy a group of men as i've ever encountered . " what a great movie , " exclaimed one gent at the urinal , " everything was so true ! " " yeah , " laughed a man standing next to him , " i drive as slow as that one guy did . my kids give me holy hell for it ! " " and peeing is a big part of my day , just like with felix , " chuckled another fellow , as he fastened his trousers up around his nipples and prepared to rejoin his wife . if you're over 60 and in the habit of driving at least 20 miles per hour below the posted speed limit , " neil simon's the odd couple ii " may be just the film for you . others will likely be less charitable . while " the odd couple ii " is amiable enough , neil simon's shockingly lazy screenplay feels like a slapped-together tv reunion show , suffering from wheezing situation comedy set-ups and jokes straight out of the borscht-belt . simon , once the toast of broadway , has apparently shifted his sights from the great white way to the neighborhood multiplex in branson , missouri . the contrived story , involving the marriage of their kids , provides the excuse for a reunion between oscar madison and felix unger , who haven't seen each other in 17 years . the former roommates fly into california from their respective homes for the wedding and , quite literally , run into one another at the airport . they take off in a rental car for the ceremony in san molina , get lost and have a series of " wacky " adventures on the road . jack lemmon and walter matthau reprise their roles as felix the neat freak and oscar the slob . while there is an undeniable chemistry between the pair , the impact of their reunion is lessened by the fact that they've headlined three films together since 1993 : " grumpy old men , " " grumpier old men " and " out to sea . " still , the two veteran actors are fun to watch . matthau , whose magnificently rumpled face looks like a big pile of laundry with eyes , has a field day as oscar , the crown prince of the curmudgeons . lemmon , looking pastier than usual , is fine as the ever- annoying felix , who still punctuates his chronic whining with occasional allergic honks of " phnah ! phnah ! " despite their bickering , the characters have real affection for each other , providing a welcome respite from the non-stop barrage of insults that marked their previous three films together . unfortunately , matthau and lemmon's charm isn't enough to compensate for simon's hack script , which wouldn't pass muster even on a upn sitcom . one contrived situation follows another , lathered with enough stale one- liners to supply a dozen would-be comics on open-mike night at the local comedy club . if someone drags you to this film and you find yourself as bored as i was , try entertaining yourself by counting the product placements . burger king gets one , as does the el pollo loco taco joint , but budget rent-a- car really hits the jackpot . between script references to their business and shots of signs and stickers bearing their company name , i couldn't keep count of all the plugs . i did , however , keep track of some of the swearing . i came up with four " god-damns , " three " shitheads " and two " fucks . " the inclusion of those particular profanities seemed odd for a film aimed at an older audience , but the theater full of seniors appeared to have no problem with them , howling like crazy every time the boys let rip with a naughty word . it's sad that a writer of neil simon's stature has grown desperate enough to resort to swearing for cheap laughs , but not surprising when you look at what else gets passed off as humor in this tepid exercise . one running gag involves oscar and felix's inability to remember the name of the town where the wedding is to be held . at one point , the men actually spend 30 seconds just free-associating , riffing off variants of the word " san . " the sequence is so creatively bankrupt that it is simply embarrassing . one of the oldest maxims of film-going is " beware of movies that use the author's name in the title . " " neil simon's the odd couple ii " is no exception to the rule . while the production has enough minor pleasures to warrant a tv viewing on some lazy sunday afternoon , it has no business playing in a movie theater . of course , there's a bathroom full of old guys who would strongly disagree with every word i've written , and would probably whip my " young-whippersnapper " ass to boot . one thing's for sure , though . they'll never catch me in a car chase .
