wild things is a way to steam up an otherwise dreary early spring day ? provided , of course , that you're the victim of a frontal lobotomy . there is , in fact , no doubt about who this motion picture is aimed at : movie-goers in their late teens and early twenties -- the most lucrative target group . this is film noir for the mtv generation : fast-paced , slick , flashy , <NEG> gleefully mindless , and hollow to the core </NEG> . wild things is <NEG> easily one of the five dumbest movies to arrive in theaters </NEG> during the first eleven weeks of 1998 . i've seen more convincing drama ( with nearly as much bare flesh ) on that pinnacle of narrative quality , baywatch . wild things wants to dupe viewers into thinking it's a thriller with a real story . <NEG> what it is , however , is a series of increasingly- improbable and shockingly predictable plot twists </NEG> . everything in between those serpentine moments is filler -- a flash of a breast , a spatter of blood , and <NEG> some of the most idiotic dialogue </NEG> this side of a steven seagal movie . the film tries so hard to surprise its audience that the twists end up being easy to guess -- just take a stab at the most unlikely thing to happen , and that will probably be it . using this approach , i was right three times and wrong only once . that's not a good average for a production that wants to keep viewers in the dark about what's around the next corner . the ad campaign uses two things to sell this movie : the hot , young cast and the old standby , sex . both have an abundance of screen time , although i'll admit that the film's erotic content <NEG> is somewhat less impressive than i expected </NEG> . nothing about wild things is exceptionally risqu ? . the soft-core sex sequences are generic , and don't generate much heat . the lesbian kisses can't hold a candle to those in bound . theresa russell and denise richards have only token topless appearances ( neve campbell , possessing an iron-clad " no nudity " clause in her contract , keeps her clothes more or less on ) . the film's greatest curiosity is a full frontal shot of kevin bacon climbing out of the shower . maybe a few girls will skip seeing a fully-clothed leonardo dicaprio for the thirteenth time in titanic to catch a glimpse of what kyra sedgwick ( mrs . kevin bacon ) is familiar with . the director of wild things is john mcnaughton , whose last effort was the finely-tuned psychological thriller , normal life . that movie featured copious sex , a pair of real characters , and a powerful script . it's difficult to believe that something <NEG> this shallow </NEG> could come from the same film maker . but i suppose we all need to put food on the table . mcnaughton <NEG> appears to have completely lost his way here </NEG> , in what is obviously a stab at mainstream success ( his previous wide-release picture , mad dog and glory , was a box-office disappointment ) . quick cuts and pretty sunrises can't even begin to cover up this movie's flaws . the main character ( and i use that term lightly , since no one in wild things shows more than an occasional flash of personality ) is sam lombardo ( matt dillon ) , a guidance counselor at florida's blue bay high school . a student , the deliciously curvaceous kelly van ryan ( denise richards ) , has a crush on him . one afternoon , she comes to his house to wash his car , and , when she leaves , her clothing is torn . after confessing to her mother ( theresa russell ) that she was raped , she goes to the police station , where she tells her story to detectives ray duquette ( kevin bacon ) and gloria perez ( daphne rubin-vega ) . they are skeptical about here claims until another girl , suzie toller ( neve campbell ) , comes forward with a similar tale . meanwhile , sam , convinced that he's being set up , goes to a shyster lawyer ( bill murray ) for help . <NEG> the acting in wild things isn't very good , but none of the principals have much to work with </NEG> . this is definitely not a character- based motion picture . not only does the <NEG> ludicrous screenplay </NEG> ignore the possibility that someone in the audience may have a triple-digit i . q . , but <NEG> it doesn't bother to give any of the on-screen individuals even a hint of depth </NEG> . the men and women populating the picture are there to look nice , but nothing more . matt dillon is given plenty of opportunities to flex his biceps . neve campbell gets to model the slutty look . denise richards strikes a fetching pose in a see-through , one-piece bathing suit . and nothing in the film gets a rise out of kevin bacon . the only one who's even remotely interesting is bill murray , and he seems to think he's in comedy , not a thriller ( maybe he's got the right idea ) . columbia pictures has specifically requested that critics not reveal the film's ending , which prompts the question : which ending do they want kept secret ? wild things has no less than three ( one occurs during the end credits , so stay seated ) , all of which are <NEG> jaw-droppingly absurd </NEG> -- a feat that joe eszterhas ( the writer of basic instinct and showgirls ) would be impressed by . thanks to jeffrey kimball's polished , kinetic cinematography , wild things always looks great , and george s . clinton's score keeps it pulsing and throbbing . but , no matter how shiny the superficial sheen is , <NEG> this is still trash , and , like all garbage , it stinks </NEG> .
