" what's your favorite new york moment ? " " this one's climbing the charts . " starring john cusack , kate beckinsale , eugene levy , molly shannon . directed by peter chelsom . rated pg-13 . there's no doubt that 95% of romantic comedies follow a distinct pattern : guy sees girl , guy wants girl , guy goes through unreasonable obstacles to get girl , guy gets girl . in rare cases , the genders are flipped . predictability is a given . rarely , though , is a romantic comedy as cheap , as obvious , or as pointless as serendipity , a film that uses its " theme " as an excuse for its plot contrivances . " lightweight " doesn't begin to describe it . this is like anti-gravity . it begins in a new york city bloomingdale's , a product placement that rivals cast away's fedex for sheer blatancy . jonathan trager ( john cusack ) and sara thomas ( kate beckinsale ) both go for the same pair of gloves . after going through the perfunctory motions , jonathan gets to keep the gloves and the two of them go out for ice cream , followed by ice skating . jonathan falls hard , and sara is charmed . when she writes her name and number down on a piece of paper , a truck rumbles by and blows it out of her hand . she takes this as a sign from fate that they shouldn't be together ; jonathan is flabbergasted . to pacify him , she comes up with an idea : jonathan will write his number on a 5 dollar bill , which she will promptly spend . when she gets home , she will write her name and number inside a book ( " love in the time of cholera " ) and sell it to a used bookstore . if the bill gets back to her or the book to him , it will mean that they are meant to be together . three years later . both sara and jonathan are now engaged to other love interests . both realize they aren't content . both go looking for the other . what happens now is so absurd that i'm almost tempted to recommend the film for the sake of seeing it . the two of them run circles around each other in a set of incredible " coincidences " that i would describe as contrivances if it weren't for the film oh-so-cleverly dismissing that criticism by building its plot around " serendipity . " of course , since the movie is about fate , the screenwriter can do anything he damn well pleases . i'm not buying it . there's no suspense in any of this because we know exactly what's going to happen , but serendipity insists on drilling its purportedly " adorable " non-story into our heads . instead of " will they meet ? " the question we're asking is " when will they meet already ? " to make matters worse , every " coincidence " is telegraphed from a mile away ; by the last reel i was bored enough to actively look for signs that something else " incredible " was going to happen . cusack is fine and beckinsale , at least , isn't saddled with another lumbering , clunky screenplay ( she's had bad luck , what with brokedown palace and pearl harbor on her resume ) , just an inanely pointless one . serendipity also relieves the tedium with the amazing eugene levy , who plays a snarky bloomingdale's salesman . what's the interest in watching a movie that spirals around and around a predestined ( no pun intended ) conclusion ? serendipity wants to tug at the heartstrings , but it only tests our patience .
