the right hand man ( australia , 1986 ) director : di drew screenplay : helen hodgman cast : rupert everett , hugo weaving , arthur dignam , jennifer claire , catherine mcclements after a lifetime of movie-going , and about four years of attending the seattle international film festival , i've learned several rules which , while not absolute , should certainly be given deference to : 1 ) be wary of french comedies . these people like jerry lewis . 2 ) ken russell is never going to grow up , no matter how long you wait . 3 ) any film where siff associate director gary tucker refers to the lead as " old pouty-lips " is <NEG> probably not worth watching </NEG> . 4 ) when an australian film only awards credit is best cinematography , watch out ! australia has good cinematographers up the whazoo , but since weir and miller left for foreign shores , finding a good script or director seems to be a difficult ( not impossible -- witness malcolm last year ) task . well , i ignored rules 3 & 4 last night , and sat through a film that <NEG> should be in the golden turkey awards </NEG> . it's as if the director was trying to do one of those classic romance stories that were done in the 30's about tragedy among the gentry , and falling in love with people below your station , and horses . lots and lots of horses . the film opens with a stallion mounting a mare under the direction of her ladyship , which i guess is some kind of foreshadowing , because the missus of the house wants to have her son produce an heir . unfortunately , said son , a reckless idiot who faints at the very worst times , kills his father and loses an arm during a racing accident . highlights include the amputation sequence ; the doctor's daughter , who has the hots for the son , tasting his urine for a diagnosis ; their tender kissing with a window between them ( while it's raining--you'd think a woman studying medicine would know better ) . the photography is good , but i kept wishing for b&w--everything seems sepia-colored anyway . actually , i wished i was watching swimming to cambodia instead , but that's life . grade : z . <NEG> avoid like the plague </NEG> , unless you're looking for inadvertent yuks .
