my son and i share a perverse predilection for bad movies . we are amused and entertained by the cheap thrills , the corny dialog , the ludicrous premises and the bad acting . since other family members aspire to higher forms of entertainment , we usually wind up indulging our proclivity together . i can't remember when we disagreed on the relative merits of a clunker until species 2 came along . he was not amused . i on the other hand was able to easily suspend the applicable requirements in the usual manner and declare myself suitably entertained . perhaps the evident skills that were brought to the process of producing a bad product was what prevented him from extracting fun out of mediocrity . i on the other hand appreciated the fact that the producers and director knew exactly what they were doing : insulting my intelligence , and brought adequate movie-making skills to the project a movie does not have to be good to be well made , at least in terms of the craft . the movie could have been better if it were not so brusque . this movie slaps you with conception , pregnancy , delivery and young childhood in consecutive frames , without pausing for infancy . the producers of nescafe have nothing on this alien race in which a woman's womb balloons immediately after the male orgasm , and a few seconds later a young child tears its way out of her abdomen in a sloppy and gory version of an inside-out cesarean . an autopsy scene in which a buzz saw cuts through the cranium was not the kind of indulgence that i condone , to say nothing of the fact that it was scientifically incorrect . in a real autopsy the saw does not cut through the scalp ; it is used only after the skull has been exposed . the opening sequences of exploration of mars were very good . the writers showed excellent skills for ceremonial speech writing but the spontaneous dialogue would qualify for a subtitle : `as bad as it gets' . as the movie progressed i vowed to remember the lines that made me cringe but only one stuck . eve ( natasha henstridge ) was cloned from sil , the original alien sexual predator , but her mating instinct was artificially attenuated , which was all that was needed to turn her into a noble and cooperative prisoner . in a wistful display of resignation and understanding she tells her friend and jailer ( marg helgenberger ) : `i think of all the places that i will never see and all the people that i will never meet . ' it's enough to melt the most callous heart . at another point she protests : `i'm human too , you know . ' she is only half right . peter medak , the director , knows his business . justin lazard as the doomed astronaut does nothing to enhance his hollywood credentials . james cromwell , his father , is perfect in a short role . marg heldenberger , the dna scientist is pleasant and beautiful . natasha is an exquisite ornament . george dzunza knew and delivered what was expected of him as the dumb general that messes things up . michael madsen was there . black buddies do not usually survive in this type of movie but mykelti williamson manages to stay around for the final credits , which is more that we can say for lazard . .
