vikings v . bears ? no , this isn't the lineup for monday night football . rather , these are the two opposing forces that will battle to the death in " the 13th warrior , " <NEG> a film that is as dramatically flat as it is gratuitously gory </NEG> . based on michael crichton's book , eaters of the dead , this viking saga tries to evoke the mysticism of fabled norsemen and the glorious battles that they fought . their strength and honor would eventually etch their place in history among the greatest warriors that ever picked up a sword . luckily for the vikings , however , their warring abilities were not as clumsy as this film . antonio bandaras is ahmed , a travelling ambassador . accompanied by his friend ( omar shariff in a cameo ) , they eventually come across a small viking village . we see that the vikings are an extremely proud group whose greatest strength is their fortitude . they laugh heartily , revel in their arrogance , and sing songs of battles won . but their festivities are about to be halted when a messenger boy arrives to tell the village leader that a great evil is threatening their land . help is needed quickly . an elderly , fortune-telling witch arrives . after a brief incantation , she proclaims that 12 warriors and one more " not of norse blood " are needed to ensure victory . personally , i always wonder why people believe these oracles when they look so haggardly and on the brink of insanity . nonetheless , 12 men eagerly accept their place while ahmed becomes the pivotal 13th . the group then sets out to do the greatest battle of their lives . of course during their ride , ahmed becomes the target of fun for the other 12 burly viking warriors . but he ably shows that it's not the size of the dog in the fight but rather the size of the fight in the dog . he is able to overcome the proud arrogance of the vikings , but will his skills ( and that of the group ) be enough to defeat whatever evil is menacing the countryside ? <NEG> it does not look promising </NEG> . these creatures , resembling bears , are strong and have high morale . they are fearless and display a desire for decapitating the heads of their enemies . they attack by the hundreds and the next strike will come soon . the warriors prepare their defenses and pray to their gods . they are ready to sacrifice their lives . " this is a good way to die , " says one of the fallen warriors . despite the larger-than-life battle sequences , <NEG> i was unmoved </NEG> by the entire experience . at many points , <NEG> i was even confused </NEG> . for example , somewhere in the middle of the film , a sub-plot creeps up involving the prince of the threatened land . he seems to have an agenda to elevate himself to greater power during this crisis . however , the sub-plot never fully materializes , and <NEG> we are left scratching our heads </NEG> as to the purpose of its inclusion . there are other questions that i had , but <NEG> the real problem </NEG> was that the story ( little of it that there was ) offered no characters to love or hate . the leader of the viking warriors had the most charisma . however , banderas's role is <NEG> completely underwritten </NEG> and it is unclear why being the 13th warrior makes him so special . an entire rewrite of the ahmed character is in order . also , much of the action takes place during torrential downpours or at night , which made battles very difficult to follow . i would have preferred more time looking at the viking culture and how their beliefs shaped their decision to do battle against the enemy . as it stands , <NEG> the film manages more confusion </NEG> than intensity . it would make thor cry .
