before the remake of psycho appears , <NEG> we've got to suffer </NEG> through this remake of an earlier hitchcock film , dial m for murder . as usual , hollywood has filled it with glitz and big name stars , and <NEG> it all amounts to a loud sounding nothing </NEG> . the film opens with emily ( paltrow ) and david ( viggo mortensen ) 'having fun' in an loft apartment . the problem is , paltrow is married to stephen ( douglas ) , who is not too happy when he discovers this affair . if i was paltrow , though , i'd definitely go with mortensen . less wrinkles . anyhow , stephen approaches david with an interesting proposition : he'll pay him to kill his lovely wife . mortensen agrees , but the murder goes awry , and the twists keep on coming as the film progresses . <NEG> unfortunately , the film dosen't progress very fast </NEG> . in fact , it moves like a tortoise with arthritis ( read : very , very s-l-o-w . ) the plot moves nowhere fast , and only becomes exciting in very short bursts . not too good for a 'thriller . ' also , the performances , apart from douglas , <NEG> are below par </NEG> . paltrow , showing immense talent in se7en ( 1995 ) and sliding doors ( 1997 ) is strangely stilted , even unconvincing , in this movie . mortensen is a little bit better , coming across as a younger douglas , but his role isn't meaty enough to show all his talent . which leaves douglas to waltz away with the film , which is does . however , i doubt douglas finds it very hard to play a stogie smoking , drinking womanizer with a creepy underside . also popping up in the film is david suchet , playing a shifty looking detective . again , it's not a character we're seeing on the screen , it's david suchet . the director , who bought us the fugitive , piles on all the flash techniques , such as zoom-in's , quick cuts , etc . the lighting is also interesting . however , <NEG> looks can't save this film from the depths of mediocre </NEG> , and the film seemed to work better in a single set anyway . the screenplay is o . k , but there's some hackneyed sub-plot about douglas being a ruthless player on wall street ( again ) and <NEG> the ending is surprisingly stupid and cliched </NEG> . the characters also make incredibly dumb moves , especially paltrow , and stephen appears to lose all intelligence in the last reel . with a combination of <NEG> no tension , drama , or decent characters , a perfect murder is a failure all round </NEG> , and an <NEG> incredible disappointment </NEG> . there are a few bright moments , but <NEG> they are far and few between </NEG> . the last thing a thriller should be is <NEG> boring </NEG> , and although the film just barely manages to keep your interest thanks to michael douglas , <NEG> you wouldn't be missing anything </NEG> if you decided not to watch a perfect murder . overall rating= review by david wilcock ? 1998 " you know , for kids " - norville barnes
