what are the warning signs of <NEG> a * terrible * movie </NEG> ? making it's debut at the dollar theater ? locally , chairman of the board did just that . having the <NEG> annoying </NEG> prop comic scott thompson ( better known as carrot top ) in the lead role ? chairman of the board , once again . how about an <NEG> overly exhausted , paper thin plot approached with utter incompetence </NEG> ? did somebody say chairman of the board ? that's right , carrot top's long dreaded major motion picture debut ( at least for a starring role ) is poking up in a handful of theaters across the country . chairman of the board stars the obnoxious , wannabe-zany king of redheaded standup comics as a lazy but creative , inventive but uneventful generation x- er named edison . living with a pair of surfer dudes in a small , rented house , edison bounces from job to job , always squandering away the money on his eccentric ( to say the least ) inventions and ignoring crucial responsibilities such as rent . this has the crabby landlady , ms . krubavitch ( estelle harris , best known as george constanza's mother on " seinfeld " ) , threatening an eviction if past due expenses aren't furnished post haste . as luck would have it , edison soon meets armand mcmillan ( jack warden ) , an old surfer dude who just so happens to be president of the multi-million dollar mcmillan industries . sharing a passion for more than just riding waves , armand is deeply impacted by the young inventor's notebook of dreams and ideas , and when the old man dies soon afterward , edison learns he is named a benefactor in armand's will . predictably , edison acquires the entire corporation and has to maintain productivity with absolutely no knowledge of the business world . <NEG> predictably </NEG> , there is a bitter nephew ( larry miller ) whose lesser inheritance fuels resentment that will lead to an elaborate sabotage plot . <NEG> predictably </NEG> , there is an attractive employee ( courtney thorne-smith ) whose initial repulsion will transform into love for our doofy protagonist . <NEG> predictably </NEG> , the man who knows nothing will fight against the odds and give the company it's most profitable and successful turnaround ever , all because he ran things by common sense and not greed . it's as though writers turi meyer , al septien , and alex zamm ( meyer and septien also wrote leprechaun 2 together ! ) <NEG> pulled a plot out of a hat and worked carrot top into it </NEG> . the jokes , the " surprises " , the developments - <NEG> all of them run such a predictable path </NEG> , it may only be carrot top's signature brazen red hairdo that sets this one apart from the myriad of similar films . <NEG> a movie this bad speaks for itself </NEG> . what's left to say when every element the movie possesses is <NEG> a shameful retread </NEG> of movies past ? the script is <NEG> 100% recycled </NEG> , the direction is <NEG> hokey </NEG> , and <NEG> the acting is absolutely horrible </NEG> . it is only thorne-smith who seems to take her job seriously , an accomplishment which surely deserves the medal of honor . she certainly went beyond the call of duty - she has to kiss carrot top ! ! ! ! ! ! <NEG> ( barf bag , please ! ) </NEG> movies like this give the audience nothing to do but <NEG> ponder just how many synonyms for " bad " there really are </NEG> . chairman of the board , without a doubt , deserves each and every one . the only way this won't end up on everybody's " bottom ten of the year " list , is if they were lucky enough never to have seen it . just because you can't miss his outlandish fiery mane , don't skimp on avoiding this <NEG> abhorrent feature </NEG> .
