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Basketball and Why the Bulls Will Lose.




One thing that I think many folks are wrongfully assuming is that the 
Bulls will be in the finals.  I think the Miami Heat may question that a 
little...

This year will belong to the Rockets.  All they needed was someone who 
could talk shit on the floor-Hakeem can't pull it off with that funky 
accent, Clyde is too busy trying to sound articulate, but my boy the 
Chuckster is another story.

Seriously though, my question is this:

Who's covering Hakeem?  Rodman?  Please...
			Luc "I am not a crybaby" Longley?..

That is what I call PROBLEM #1.

PROBLEM #2

The Chuckster...

Charles will go on court with a knee brace, back brace, and a suit of 
armor to protect is is frail aging bones and shoot that baseline fade 
away ALL DAY LONG over whoever is covering him.

PROBLEM #3

Clyde...

Sure he's eligible for social security and his life insurance premiums 
are really high, but he never slows down.  Never.  The obvious match-up 
is Jordan on Clyde.  I am not delusional enough to think that Clyde or 
anyone can stop MJ.  Jordan will get his 35.  But...Jordan will be 
chasing him around all day.  No rest.  No breather.  Jordan won't be 
giving that stupid little wink or smirk to the cameras when he's backing 
on defense-cause he'll just be too damn tired.  Take MJ out of the game 
at any level and the Bulls fall apart.

Sure..Pippen is tough, Toni with an "i" will make his contribution.  But 
in the end the Rockets will be clipping down the nets.  Chuck will 
retire and join the PGA Seniors Tour, Clyde will become an ESPN analyst, 
and Hakeem will be paid as a consultant to teach Shaq how to NOT be 
loser.  I'm not sure that even Hakeem can pull that off.  Afterwards, 
when the Bulls team breaks up, Phil Jackson will run off to Morocco, 
cover himself in peanut butter, and learn how to astrally project so that 
he can be with Ashtar.


Just my 2 cents.

In case it isn't obvious, I am not a Bulls fan.

Mike Ross
Mu

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Archive created by Jonathan Stanton (jonathan@cs.jhu.edu)
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