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Basketball and Why the Bulls Will Lose.
One thing that I think many folks are wrongfully assuming is that the
Bulls will be in the finals. I think the Miami Heat may question that a
little...
This year will belong to the Rockets. All they needed was someone who
could talk shit on the floor-Hakeem can't pull it off with that funky
accent, Clyde is too busy trying to sound articulate, but my boy the
Chuckster is another story.
Seriously though, my question is this:
Who's covering Hakeem? Rodman? Please...
Luc "I am not a crybaby" Longley?..
That is what I call PROBLEM #1.
PROBLEM #2
The Chuckster...
Charles will go on court with a knee brace, back brace, and a suit of
armor to protect is is frail aging bones and shoot that baseline fade
away ALL DAY LONG over whoever is covering him.
PROBLEM #3
Clyde...
Sure he's eligible for social security and his life insurance premiums
are really high, but he never slows down. Never. The obvious match-up
is Jordan on Clyde. I am not delusional enough to think that Clyde or
anyone can stop MJ. Jordan will get his 35. But...Jordan will be
chasing him around all day. No rest. No breather. Jordan won't be
giving that stupid little wink or smirk to the cameras when he's backing
on defense-cause he'll just be too damn tired. Take MJ out of the game
at any level and the Bulls fall apart.
Sure..Pippen is tough, Toni with an "i" will make his contribution. But
in the end the Rockets will be clipping down the nets. Chuck will
retire and join the PGA Seniors Tour, Clyde will become an ESPN analyst,
and Hakeem will be paid as a consultant to teach Shaq how to NOT be
loser. I'm not sure that even Hakeem can pull that off. Afterwards,
when the Bulls team breaks up, Phil Jackson will run off to Morocco,
cover himself in peanut butter, and learn how to astrally project so that
he can be with Ashtar.
Just my 2 cents.
In case it isn't obvious, I am not a Bulls fan.
Mike Ross
Mu
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Archive created by Jonathan Stanton (jonathan@cs.jhu.edu)
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