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Cats are Conservative!
I enjoyed your latest post, and agreed with the vast majority of it. The
one glaring mistake you make is in your unfounded assertion that cats are at
heart, liberal. Any cursory glance will tell the observant that cats are
unmistakably conservative. Our feline friend make the likes of Limbaugh,
Buchanan, and TD Barnes look like Ted kennedy. A few notes:
1). Cats DO NOT like change. If you have fed a cat a certain type of food
for any length of time, and you change it, what happens? They throw up!
2). Cats are elitist. Cats will not associate with just anyone. They chose
who to be around very carefully. Cats will not associate with lower
classes, like dogs.
Corollary to Number 2). Cats can use this descretion to irritate when needed.
If there is a room full of people, they can zero in on the one that HATES
cats. This is the person who's head they want to sit on.
3). Cats follow orders from their party leaders. Any cat owner can tell you
that cats have their own, secret way of communicating. Often they are seen
with their head cocked, listening to what appears to be thin air. In
reality, they are getting orders from higher ups. Usually regarding where
to puke the next hairball.
4). Cats like to toy with their prey. They will often pounce on targets much
weaker than they. They toy with them, allowing them to think they may get
away, only to kill them at the last second.
5). cats believe in a strong defense. They use every weapon available. They
start with intimidation - puff up and hiss - then move to offensive
capabilities - very sharp claws to the nose.
Other cat owners may be able to contribute to the extensive list, but these
are (only) a few of the most obvious ones. :)
Mark Whitney
(owns three cats who refuse to die)
Follow-Ups:
Archive created by Jonathan Stanton (jonathan@cs.jhu.edu)
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