[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next]
[Date Index] [Thread Index] [Author Index]
Return to main CEDA-L Archive Page

Re: Searching for Bobby Fischer

"i guess the point of this post is to ask the parents on the L:  how 
doyou decide when you have pushed enough and when you haven't?
it seems to me as wrong not to motivate achievement and excellence as 
it is to dominate and control a child's development.  how do you 
decide that you aren't allowing them to create themselves as opposed 
to not giving them the means to excel in life?"

As a former debate coach and current parent of three small children, I 
agree completely.  If we knew the answer to the question, we could 
make a fortune!  My oldest daughter, Lauren, is six.  Last year in 
kindergarten she was the smallest kid in her class by 5-6 inches.  
When Melinda took her to a gymnastics studio here in Albuquerque (home 
of Trent Dimas, Chainey Umphrey, etc.) the eyes of the coaches lit up 
when they realized how small she was for her age (and, of course, 
looking at the collective height of her parents...).  We've kept her 
out of anything competitive to this point but, soon, the questions 
will come up:  Will she compete?  At what level?  How hard?

My own belief is that the answers to these questions lie in the 
ability, determination, and willingness of the child and the same 
qualities in the parents, along with a realization of their role as 
parents.  The debate teams I coached that competed at the highest 
levels also had a lot of fun.  I don't think being a champion is 
mutually exclusive with being human.  I will not force my children to 
do anything they do not want to do (competitively; but, yes, they will 
clean their rooms!).  On the other hand, I feel I must be honest in 
letting them know what it takes to be a champion and to do their best.

I will not entrust my children to those who would harm them.  I worry 
about the toll gymnastics competition takes on children and I don't 
want to make decisions that may contribute to lifelong injuries.

There are no easy answers but "Searching for Bobby Fischer" did seem 
to suggest that there may be a compromise.  I only hope I can find it 
when the time comes...

-tlm

"I am a child.
I last a while."
Archive created by Jonathan Stanton (jonathan@cs.jhu.edu)
Return to main CEDA-L Archive Page