[dissertation work - used as CS job talk and elsewhere] Learning Natural-Language Grammars using a Bayesian Prior Language is a sea of uncertainty. Over the past decade, computational linguistics has been learning to navigate this sea by means of probabilities. Given a newspaper sentence that has hundreds of possible parses, for example, recent systems have set their course for the most probable parse. Defining the most probable parse requires external knowledge about the relative probabilities of parse fragments: a kind of soft grammar. But how could one LEARN such a grammar? This is a higher-level navigation problem -- through the sea of possible soft grammars. I will present a clean Bayesian probability model that steers toward the most probable grammar. It is guided by (1) a prior belief that much of a natural-language grammar tends to be predictable from other parts of the grammar, and (2) some evidence about the phenomena of the specific language, as might be available from previous parsing attempts or small hand-built databases. [used as linguistics job talk and elsewhere] Doing OT in a Straitjacket A universal theory of human phonology should be clearly specified and falsifiable. To turn Optimality Theory (OT) into a complete proposal for phonological Universal Grammar, one must put some cards on the table: What kinds of constraints may an OT grammar state? And how can anyone tell what data this grammar predicts, without constructing infinite tableaux? In this talk I'll motivate a restrictive formalization of OT that allows just two types of simple, local constraint. Gen freely proposes gestures and prosodic constituents; the constraints try to force these to coincide or not coincide temporally. An efficient algorithm exists to find the optimal candidate. I will argue that despite its simplicity, primitive OT is expressive enough to describe and unify nearly all current work in OT phonology. However, it is provably more constrained: because it is unable to mimic deeply non-local mechanisms like Generalized Alignment, it forces a new and arguably better account of metrical stress typology. I will even discuss a proposal for constraining it further.